Hair is used to subtly situate relationships.
Hair plays a huge role in the relationships between characters in Lahiri's novels. Part of this can be attributed to Indian culture, but part of the significance also lies within the character's themselves.
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Indian culture is filled with vibrant and rich traditions that inform several relationships in the novel. For instance, part of the Indian wedding ceremony includes putting powdered vermillion, known as sindoor, in the part of the bride. Married Indian women typically wear sindoor in their part until they are widowed, at which point the vermillion is washed out.
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These traditions play a significant role in the subtle situation of relationships in The Lowland. When Udayan and Gauri are married, Udayan applies the vermillion powder to Gauri's part (353) which from then forward signifies her status as a married woman. But after Udayan's death, "the vermillion was washed clean from her hair, the iron bangle removed from her wrist. The absence of these ornaments marked her as a widow. She was twenty-three years old" (129). And even after marrying Subhash, the novel never mentions Gauri marking herself as his wife by wearing vermillion in her hair. After washing it from her part after Udayan's death, Gauri never again wears sindoor--she never really views herself as Subhash's wife. This is, in turn, Subhash's biggest fear when it comes to his relationship with Gauri--a fear he can't help but think about the first time they make love. "Inside of her, surrounded by her, he worried that she would never accept him, that she would never fully belong to him, even as he breathed in the smell of her hair, and clasped her breast in his hand" (177). And Subhash was right to worry. Gauri never belonged to him and never accepted him as a replacement for Udayan, as shown by the vermillion (or lack thereof).
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But the role of hair in the relationship between Udayan and Gauri is larger than simply having vermillion in her part. Hair played a large part in their love from the beginning. As Udayan courted Gauri, "he noticed the day she switched the parting in her hair, saying it suited her" (73). Years later, remembering an intimate moment in bed with Udayan, Gauri recalls "She sits up again. She starts braiding her hair for sleep. But he draws her fingers away. He undrapes her sari, letting the material fall from her breasts, revealing the skin between her blouse and petticoat. He drapes her hair around her shoulders. Leave it like this tonight" (278). From the very beginning of their love, Udayan loved Gauri's hair, and Lahiri used small moments like these to reveal the depth of that love throughout the novel, culminating in the final line, given from Udayan's perspective just as he is about to be killed (or, perhaps is already dead):
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"The sunlight on her hair" (415).
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Udayan's last image of Gauri. The last moment of the book. The love and intimacy shared by Udayan and Gauri summed up by an image of her hair.
Hair also plays a significant role in the relationships Gogol has in The Namesake as he searches for identity and purpose. Every relationship he has, Gogol is fascinated with his partners' hair, beginning with the first girl he ever kissed. When describing the experience, he remembers "briefly running a hand through her hair" (96).
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This focus on hair shows up in several other intimate moments in Gogol's life. When he runs into Ruth on the train, he remembers seeing her on campus. But, more specifically, he remembers her hair. "He remembers that freshman year she'd had hair dyed an emphatic shade of cranberry red, cut to her jaw. She's grown it to her shoulders now, and allowed it to
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resume what appears to be its natural shade, light brown with bits of blond here and there. It is parted just off-center, a bit crooked at the base. The hair of her eyebrows is darker, lending her otherwise friendly features a serious expression" (109). For Gogol to not only recall Ruth's hair the first time he'd seen her, but then be able to recognize her with a completely different haircut shows the level of attention he puts on hair.
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This attention later infiltrates his more serious relationships as hair is used as a sign of intimacy and connection. We see this when Max visits Gogol's family for the first time. Although Gogol warns Max that there can't be any physical displays of intimacy between them while they're around his parents, Max forgets and in a moment of spontaneous affection "accidentally leans over to run her hand through his hair" (149). It's the kind of intimate gesture that Ashima and Ashoke would never share in public--something as simple as touching a loved ones hair--because it holds so much significance.
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We also see how much hair matters to Gogol when it comes to intimate relationships in his most serious relationship of them all, with Moushumi. Gogol reflects ". . . when he kisses her head he tastes the oil that accumulates on her scalp between shampoos. He sees the hair that grows on her legs between waxings, the black roots that emerge between appointments at the salon, and in these moments, these glimpses, he believes he has known no greater intimacy" (211). Hair becomes a symbol for closeness as Moushumi lets Gogol see and be part of the natural hair on her body--when she isn't putting on a show for convention like she does out in public. Letting Gogol see her unshaven legs, taste the oil on her hair, all are unspoken forms of showing the trust and affection Moushumi feels for Gogol. And, in return, Gogol recognizes these signs and out of all his previous relationships, he "believes he has known no greater intimacy" (211).
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Hair plays a significant role in defining and identifying relationships between characters in Lahiri's The Lowland and The Namesake. Whether that's to show intimacy and closeness, or distance and rejection, hair helps readers subtly navigate these relationships among characters.